RPG Week 2014 Day Five: Final Fantasy IX

While Dragon Quest VIII was a monster of a game, no RPG this year left as much of a lasting impression on me as Final Fantasy IX did. As such, it's fitting to me that we close out this year's RPG Week with what has essentially become one of my favourite games...of all time. I knew from the moment I heard that opening theme that this game would be something truly special.

Released on the PlayStation in North America on November 13, 2000, Final Fantasy IX marked a striking departure from the two previous Final Fantasy games on the PS. While VIII had opted for a more realistic  feel evolved from FFVII, FFIX instead looked back on earlier games and embraced, for one last time, the Fantasy of old. It's apparent from the designs of everything in this game that FFIX is truly a fond look back, and a memory of what Final Fantasy once was. The idea of crystals that shape the world returns, as does the four member battle system. Airships and kingdoms scatter the land of Gaia, and the denizens are made up of more than just humans. The world of Final Fantasy IX is vastly different from VII and VIII, and I know that fans of those games might look upon FFIX with confusion. But I was, and still am, utterly enthralled by the world, and really all that Final Fantasy IX is and represents.

Hiroyuki Ito, the original creator of the Active Time Battle System, returns as director as he was with the critically and fan adored Final Fantasy VI. Nobuo Uematsu is back with his ninth consecutive score, and Hironobu Sakaguchi himself takes a place in the writer's chair. Final Fantasy IX revolves around several characters brought together and shaped by an encroaching war, and the sinister events taking place behind the scenes. You follow the thief Zidane Tribal and his group, the Tantalus Theatre Troupe, as they attempt to kidnap Princess Garnet from the Kingdom of Alexandria. In the midst of the encounter, Zidane meets the young black mage Vivi, along with Garnet's stalwart protector Steiner, before learning that Garnet had in fact wanted to be kidnapped, so she could escape the confines of her mother, Queen Brahne, who's erratic behaviour has caused destruction across the world. The four journey far and wide in an effort to stop the mad Queen, meeting the gourmet Qu chef Quina Quen, the Burmecian dragoon Freya, the young summoner Eiko, and the bounty hunter Amarant.

Of the most magnificent parts of FFIX, the characters and their stories are my favourite. Each character exhibits a unique theme about them, and throughout the game each of the characters must come to terms with their own struggles. For example, Freya must deal with loss, Steiner must fight between his duty and his compassion, and Vivi must contend with his own mortality. There are strong and philosophical themes at play here, and there's a true and great sense of progression in the characters as you go through the game.

And the character and world designs are indeed so very inviting and varied. The translation of such designs to everything in-game is a testament to how far the series has come in a few short years since Final Fantasy VII. Character models and animations are vibrant and fluid, and the models of the buildings and sights within the game blend seamlessly together to create an almost storybook fantasy setting. And I must surmise what must be one of the greatest and emotional soundtracks of this day and age. Uetmatsu, as if there was any doubt, created an outstanding and masterful soundtrack that not only has various wonderful nods to the original Final Fantasy, but several high-profile and emotional punches of its own.

Those familiar with gameplay of previous Final Fantasy games will generally know what to expect from this entry: a huge world to explore with many modes of transport, a range of side activities to partake in, and many battles to be fought. There are many people in the world that offer you items or other rewards for simply talking to them, or for completing a certain task. FFIX also features a unique game-within-a-game of its own, in the form of the collectible card game Tetra Master, which unlike Triple Triad from FFVIII, is required to play at least once in the main story. The lovable bird creatures Chocobos make an expanded appearance in this entry, and an entire mini-game involving your Chocobo can be played where you dig up treasure in a set amount of time for a reward. This mini-game also levels up your Chocobo so it can traverse more terrain and find more treasure on the overworld as you ride it.

The Active Time Battle System, once again, makes an appearance now with four party member instead of three. As before, a meter for each character slowly builds, and when full allows a character to attack. The meter fills faster or slower depending on a characters speed, and the enemy can attack at random points during the battle. Characters are put on either the front or back row, with the front row able to deal and receive more damage, while the back row is the opposite. Limit Breaks are sadly gone, replaced by what's called Trance mode. A separate gauge fills as damage is received and can be carried over between battles. When full, a character enters Trance, where they deal more damage and are able to perform a special action. In Zidane's case, he has an entirely different set of attacks while in Trance. I confess that I miss the Limit Breaks, but I believe the Trance system is far more visible and easier to manage.

Characters can apply abilities via a limited number of Ability Points, and can swap out different abilities (with different required AP's) outside of battle, and can learn new ones by using certain weapons, armour, or accessories that contain one or more abilties. While they use the equipment, they have access to the ability in question, but cannot use the ability without the equipment until the ability is levelled up through experience gained in battle. It's an easy, manageable system that's also a far cry from the Junction system found in FFVIII. For those who played Tales of Vesperia, the system is quite similar. On that note, characters now embody specific "classes" as they did in several of the original games. Zidane is a Thief, and Vivi is a Black Mage, for example. As such, equipment, abilities and how you manage each character is dependent on your strategy, rather than just picking certain characters and giving them every spell under the sun. Such a feat is now impossible, but I am perfectly fine with that. It gives your party members, and how you utilize their specialties, much more focus. Final Fantasy IX can be quite the challenge at times, so it's important to know your party members well. Yet another reason for the welcome emphasis on characters.

Believe me when I say that I had every intention of going out with the best for RPG Week 2014.

I love Final Fantasy IX.

It is a masterpiece, in my eye. One of the greatest games ever created.

I have been waiting to talk about this game for months, and much like Chrono Trigger last year, I stumble with words to perfectly articulate this game to those who have never played it. I can only express in small ways what this game means to me, personally. I experienced this game during a period of uncertainty and strife in my life, and no words could be offered that might explain why I feel such a connection to it. It simply floated into place, like a puzzle piece gently settling in to complete a picture. I played FFIX immediately after Final Fantasy VIII, and while VIII surprised and delighted me, I simply was not prepared for how much I got out of Final Fantasy IX. It was the first game, out of ANY game in a long time, that I genuinely felt complete as I watched the credits roll after more than 60 hours exploring the game. Final Fantasy IX left me with a satisfaction reserved for some of my absolute favourite games and series. To find another game and series capable of such a feat is truly, truly wonderful. This game; the themes, the characters, the world, the story, it all just clicked. Melded together in a brilliant harmony.

And so ends another week of RPG awesomeness.

Thank you for reading if you chose to do so, and I hope you play some damn good games come the new year! I know I hope to. And I hope you play some fantastic RPG's, there's a lot of my favourite genre out there!

As a sendoff, I leave you with the incredible ending theme to Final Fantasy IX, "Melodies of Life," sung by Emiko Shiratori (who sang it in both English and Japanese). Here's the song, but if you don't mind spoilers, I'll leave a video with the song and cutscenes from the game here as well.

Enjoy! :D

RPG Week 2014 Day One: Final Fantasy VIII

The end of 2014 is soon upon us! So, as I did last year, I intend to relate to you, the ever-so gracious reader, five RPG's that I had the utmost pleasure and excitement playing this past year. Each day until Friday, a new game, and with each comes some history about the game itself, as well as thoughts about my own experience with the game. The role-playing genre in gaming is vast and engrossing, and as you can probably tell, I love talking about some my favourite ones! Consider this all a small Christmas gift to you wonderful folk (perhaps to distract you from my lack of reviews and other such silly things, because of my fervent procrastination...ahem)! So I do hope you check in each day, and I hope you learn a little thing or two!

But of course, on to the main event!

Today's game is Final Fantasy VIII on the original PlayStation. You may or may not remember my bits on Final Fantasy IV and particularly Final Fantasy VII from last year, but this is one that was bound to happen as well! Final Fantasy VIII was released in the West on September 9th, 1999, a full two years after VII, and was the fastest selling Final Fantasy game until only recently. As I hope I mentioned before, each Final Fantasy game, save for ones with a distinct "-2" in their title, are stand-alone entries with varying differences in core mechanics. Meaning, each game is it's own self contained story with its own gameplay focus. Yoshinori Kitase was once again given the task of directing the project, as he did with the two previous entries. The development of VIII aimed for a more realistic feel graphically, compared to the aforementioned VII, and the story was ultimately a noted departure from what fans knew, with a "school-days" feel and aesthetic, compared to the medieval or technological steampunk found before. The graphics received a substantial improvement in the way of character models: now, instead of a range of different character models between the overworld and combat like in VII, each character had one, fully-scaled model used across all situations. The stunning motion cutscenes returned, as did Nobuo Uematsu as the lead composer, and he brought with him another stellar soundtrack, complete with a chart-topping single sung by Chinese singer Faye Wong, "Eyes on Me." As if it needs to be said, I'll get to the soundtrack soon...

FFVIII received substantial improvements to presentation over its predecessor, and yet, it does happen to be one of the more controversial of the Final Fantasy games (well, when you don't count XIII...or the mobile games...or some of the spin off games...or the online games...). In the case of what makes it so mixed opinion-wise, I can see it being boiled down to two prime factors: the story, and the Junction system. Final Fantasy VIII is, at the end of the day, a love story. The great ballad of Squall Leonheart, and Rinoa Heartilly. It is not solely about them, of course, Squall and Rinoa are joined by school mates Zell, a martial-artist, Selphie, an expert of the nunchaku, Quistis, a teacher at their school Balamb Garden, and Irvine, an expert marksman. Their school, Balamb Garden, trains them and their peers to become members of SeeD, an elite group of mercenaries and soldiers, who are hired out to different locations of strife in the world. Through a series of random encounters, Squall meets Rinoa on a mission, and the two begin a relationship that encapsulates much of their respective motivations, and which further story events revolve around. The group also must contend with and learn about visions of a man named Laguna, who as it happens, has some relationship issues of his own.

The Final Fantasy games have always had romantic sub-plots, but to make an entire story revolve around one? It is unusual, especially for long-time fans. I'm sure it divides the fan base on whether or not they like the story...but for myself? I actually quite liked it! It was different, I'll give it that, but it was also not as strange or as thin as I was led to believe. Indeed, there are also plenty of other stories and sub-plots to be found in FFVIII that make it feel like like a familiar title. Squall is certainly a moody protagonist, but he's a character that I felt had some progression, even if it was more subtle. I won't spoil so much of the plot, but let it still be said that there were some great parts that had little to do with either Squall or Rinoa. In fact, the story of Laguna in particular might even be as good if not better than Squall's and Rinoa's! My one issue, however, is that the other supporting characters do not receive as much attention and backstory as I felt they should. That's a huge change of focus from other games, where other party members or characters usually receive a whole section of the game dedicated to their backstory. Those parts are still here, mind, but they're somewhat...lessened, mostly for the focus to be on Squall and Rinoa.

Now the Junction system, yes...a fascinating mechanic.

The Junction system is the "big deal" about the gameplay, which otherwise is quite similar to VII's, in that you have a party of three attack via the Active Time Battle system, with Limit Breaks also returning. The Junction system functions by allowing players to "equip" entities known as Guardian Forces, which are VIII's version of the famous "summons" the series is known for. GF's, like for example Ifrit or Shiva, grant either spells or abilities for the character, while also improving (or diminishing) stats, as well as being able to summon the GF itself. This extends to the use of magic, which also saw a significant change. Magic power/mana is gone, and is replaced by instead stocking different spells individually, acquiring them by "drawing" from different enemies. Basically, any character can use any spell, as long as they have the "Magic" ability from a GF, and any quantity of the spell in question, up to a maximum of 100.

It is, indeed, one of the most unique systems in Final Fantasy, and really any other RPG. It is also, however, one of the most confusing. Trying to learn the best combinations of spells and GF's, as well as constantly switching out certain combinations with different team members, is not only time consuming, but also heavily based on trial and error. That being said, I found it to be an extremely empowering system once I gathered more GF's later in the game, and the battle system is altogether quite excellent. As I said, Limit Breaks are back, and are once again wonderful. They are now randomly received at low health, can select from more than one depending on a character's given weapon, and now have a level of interactivity via timed button presses.

Time to talk about the soundtrack?

Time to talk about the soundtrack.

It's fantastic. It's amazing.

It might also be, in my opinion, one of the best in RPG history. In fact for a lot of people, it was better than the actual game! The hit single "Eyes on Me" is played throughout the game at various parts, and is a great companion piece. But the other incredibly popular theme from the game is the opening cinematic's score: "Liberi Fatali". Damn. There's "Don't Be Afraid," "Force Your Way," and "Maybe I'm A Lion." And oh man, come on, "The Man With the Machine Gun!" Uematsu, at the top of his game! Pure, orchestrated, good times.

Final Fantasy VIII, like VII, is a fairly sizable RPG, with my own total time around 60 or so hours. It follows the usual fair, with a vast world to gradually explore, as well as numerous side activities and quests. One of these is Triple Triad, which is a unique card game that you can play against various people throughout the game world. It's a surprisingly in-depth and elaborate game within a game, involving card-collecting that can also translate into the rest of the game by using certain GF abilities. Bit of a learning curve, but quite cool!

The world itself has some great designs, especially a certain late-game city. The cities and locales are quite extravagant, and still have that...well, that PlayStation feel of pre-rendered backdrops. Haha it's a bit silly, really, but I still think its an aesthetic that looks both unique and memorable! I do think FFVIII has aged a little better than VII, if only because of the character models, but those backgrounds (in both games) are intriguing to me on both a visual and graphical level. The way the game transitions between cutscenes and the game world is fun, if a bit rudimentary, in its own right.

I have a personal story about this game, actually. I'll preface this by saying that the events did occur rather late in the game, although I won't spoil much. At a certain point in the game, you gain opportunities to explore the ocean, and you may explore an off-shore platform in a corner of the map. This facility houses several floors, before extending to a massive underground cavern, that goes deeper beneath the surface. It is within this facility and cavern that you may face multiple enemies, some of which give you powerful Guardian Forces, items and magic spells. Save points are rare, so if you decide to brave the depths, you must be prepared. The prize(s) you can receive by defeating the boss at the end, however, make it very much worthwhile. After entering the facility, you must immediately face a boss, which I did. I was successful, so I left to save, and returned to proceed below. Within the facility, you must use units of energy to power up the various ways leading you the bottom. However, you are only given a set amount of units, and you need a minimum to face the end boss. After facing several more random enemy encounters, I reached a point where I had the opportunity to preserve some of my units involving a party member, Zell, smashing a jammed door. Thinking I'd need all the units I could get, I chose to do so. The door led deeper into the caverns, so I thought it would be a good idea to go and save the game, so I went back to the save point and overwrote the current save slot.

This would prove to be a significant mistake.

I returned to the entrance I had just opened, and proceeded down. Not two steps did I take before I was thrust into what I thought was a random enemy encounter. The encounter was against a set of enemies of which were not terribly difficult, but were time consuming to take out, and could leave annoying status effects on my party. Tough luck, I thought. I finished the battle, and took a few more steps before encountering another battle. I uttered a bad word. Battle complete, I continued down the steps. Just then, another battle. At this point, the madness was real. This was arduous, and ridiculous. I had barely moved around. What the hell was going on? I consulted a handy wiki to make sense of this crap, and was horrified to find out what I had done. By having Zell smash the door, I unknowingly changed the way monsters would appear in the cavern. Essentially, unlike the random encounters I faced every little while above the surface, every battle below here was scripted, and had to happen. And these scripted battles occurred almost immediately after one another, after I took several steps in-game. This was not a good situation, as I feared how long it would take to reach the bottom. And to seal my fate, I realized I had overwritten the save file that could have prevented this. The other save file I had? It was 20 hours previous. Not gonna replay all of that.

Well...shit.

I decided to do it. To commit. To brave the struggle and fight my way to the bottom.

It took me one hour. One hour to reach the bottom. If I had no enemy encounters, it could have taken me a couple of minutes to reach the bottom. But with all the scripted encounters? One hour. Oh, but we're not done.

At the bottom, there was no save point. At least, there was none I could activate. So this was it. Balls to the wall. All or nothing. This was where the fruits of my labour would be made apparent. The end boss is a creature known as Ultima Weapon. Yes, that is the name. It's a behemoth. It is an optional boss. And it is, I think, as difficult if not more so then the final boss of the entire game. Using the "Draw" command, a party member can extract from Ultima Weapon the single most insane, dramatic and powerful Guardian Force in the entire game, Eden. When I say powerful, I mean, freaking powerful. Seriously, watch that video.

The battle begins. I immediately lose party members left and right, and am only saved by some quick healing and resurrection. I felt like it would be a long process of slowly widdling away at the boss's health, all while making sure I can heal/resurrect party members. Ultima Weapon has an occasional attack that effectively decimates every party member, pretty much guaranteeing a death. The Limit Breaks are a saving grace to be sure.

But...he got me.
I lost the battle.
It had barely just begun.
In one gigantic attack, I lost everybody at once.
Game Over.

That was a defeat of the most enraging variety.
I was not going to give up, however, so I regrouped and moved around some Junctions, making some adjustments. I decided to immediately try again. Another hour, spent getting to the bottom.
A slightly easier trek, I must admit, since I had went and gained a few levels outside the facility before trying again. I also got a bit smarter with the Junctions, so that assuredly would have helped. I had a new strategy this time, focusing on different party members and different abilities. I proclaimed I would not lose again.

I do battle with Ultima Weapon once more. This battle is drawn out tremendously. Many close calls, but I was able to resurrect quickly, and keep some members with limit breaks. I did not have the other best Guardian Forces at the time, nor did I have other powerful spells, but I did have one thing: Squall's best weapon, Lion Heart. It allows for the best limit break, next to maybe Rinoa's, and can be a force to reckoned with when used after various effect spells...something I neglected the first time. It wasn't an easy battle, but between Speed, Limit Breaks, and some lucky heals...

I beat him.
I defeated Ultima Weapon.
Victory was mine...

That is, until I realized I had made a crucial error, and had forgotten to draw Eden from Ultima Weapon. I...was not happy. Not at all. I shut the game off for the day, and walked away. Of course, the next day, I had to try again. And so I did.

Everything I said previous? It applies once more. An entire hour of my day, dedicated to getting to the bottom, with no save points in between.

Yet again, the rumble calls to battle between myself and Ultima Weapon. Another hour spent getting here. I had won before, and I knew what to do. One close call at the beginning was not enough to deter me. Of course, I had not forgotten to draw Eden, and I did so at a cost of a turn, and a near death. Yet, I came back. And I let loose all hell on Ultima Weapon. And as if by some sheer poetic justice, I finished off Ultima Weapon for a SECOND TIME with Squall's limit break, Lion Heart. It was utterly, utterly epic. With the final swing of his limit break, Ultima Weapon was no more.

I had won.

And I had Eden.

That...was immensely satisfying.

I don't know if the other entries this week will take this long to read (or write, haha), but I hope you liked the story here. So...Final Fantasy VIII? I think it is profoundly underrated. An excellent game, that is perhaps overshadowed by its other fellow PlayStation entries. However, yes, I understand why this game has seen so much division over the last decade and a half. And yet, when I finally finished the game, it brought a wonderful sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Something I was not wholly expecting, I will admit. I came into FFVIII with some middling expectation, but I found a quite surprisingly stellar game to be had instead.

Stop This Nonsense!

It had to happen. It never freaking fails. Not a week after I wrote about how awesome RollerCoaster Tycoon is, a surprise announcement came way in the form of a new game in the series. It was a dreadful message. The new game would be RollerCoaster Tycoon 4.......Mobile.

No. No no no no no no no no. This is wrong. This is oh so wrong.

To the chagrin of all who heard, it was announced that the next instalment in the RCT series will be for your mobile devices, such as your iPhone and iPad. Here's the thing: an optimist might say that this could be alright. Because, hey, it's your own little roller coaster park on the go! Cool, right? Well sadly, the games industry doesn't usually work like that. What we can expect instead is a microtransaction filled, free-to-play/fee-to-pay infested, ham-fisted socially ingrained, dishonourable and undignified mess of crap and metal.
Yeah. It's disgraceful, and borderline insulting that this is going to be a thing. My god. And as if to make it worse, the Twitter handle for Atari said that there would be a PC "experience" later this year.

Well what the hell does that mean?!?

"Experience?" Are you kidding me? Not game. "Experience." What could this be, a Facebook game that demands the same amount of nickel-and-diming that the mobile one does?
"Pay $2.99 to receive this really cool exclusive park sign."
"What's that? You want to extend your roller coaster another square? Oh that'll be 99 cents."
Or, hell, maybe it'll be an "experience" like the abomination that EA's SimCity was last year. Jesus I shudder at the thought. Like can you imagine? An always-online, dumbed-down mess that demands you "get connected" or you can't play the full-priced game. No. No. NO.
And you know what the sad thing is? All of what I just said is entirely possible, given the history of mobile/Facebook gaming and certain publishers.

So this is a message to you all who think that something like this is cool, or rather, that it's a good idea.

It's not.

But let me back up a bit. And you know what? I'm grabbing my soapbox while I'm at it. Oh yeah, you're goddamn right I'm doing this. I've had enough of this crap.
Stop This Nonsense!
No more shitty Facebook games!
No more half-assed mobile ports of good games!
NO MORE FREE-TO-PLAY, MICROTRANSACTION FILLED ABOMINATIONS!

Let me explain something first: none of this is exactly new. Certain "free-to-play" games have had what are called "in-app purchases" for quite some time. Most notably, FarmVille, which allows you to progress further or obtain rare items via paying with real currency. Now, however, the alarming increase in the amount of these games around makes many people, including myself, incredibly cynical when the words "mobile" or "free-to-play" appear in regards to games or series that we're familiar with. And in recent memory, more and more publishers and game developers have shifted their focus towards the mobile sphere. EA has continued certain franchises in both Facebook and mobile. Square Enix, has released ports of their older console RPG's. And then of course you have companies like King, the makers of Candy Crush Saga, who are scraping the bottom of the proverbial turd barrel.

EA is almost comically ridiculous with it's approach to the mobile market. The silly Sims Social on Facebook, for example, speaks for itself, but there's the particularly heinous case of Dungeon Keeper on Mobile. As one final insult to Bullfrog, the company EA bought and subsequently killed, they made one of their most well-known IP's, in this case Dungeon Keeper, into a mobile, free-to-play catastrophe.

The idea for Dungeon Keeper, at least in regards to the original games, is that you build out rooms and corridors of your underground lair, as the baddest of bad guys in the realm. You direct imps to destroy various blocks, of which you can then build various structures or areas that support your evil endeavours in either financial or helmet-bashing ways. The two original PC games are a lot of fun, mixing strategy with a tiny hint of city-building/management, and offering hours of entertainment. Now, EA, in their infinite wisdom, decided to make a new entry for mobile devices, with just a teensy-tiny itty-bitty caveot: that it be free-to-play. If you're familiar with other building games that are F2P, you'll know that the way it works is you begin construction or issue commands for different structures/areas/creatures/farms and must then adhere to a timer, which tells you when a job is completed, or when you may once again do something. Unless, of course, you pay a certain amount of real-world dollars to either "speed it up," or to purchase something akin to tokens, which can in turn be spent to hurry the timers. Well the new Dungeon Keeper decides to take that to it's most illogical extreme. What I said before about imps smashing blocks? That's on a timer. A long timer. A long timer that extends more and more the farther away the imps get from the centre. Understand what I'm saying: THE MOST BASIC COMMAND IN THE GAME IS ON A MONETARY-BASED TIMER. This is poop. Timers can extend from minutes, to hours, to even days, and you wouldn't have even completed one room. You are literally at the mercy of the game's (if you can even call it that) in-app purchases. Stop This Nonsense.

Now Square Enix, the company behind, most notably, Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest, has been moving into mobile gaming in particular more and more lately, for reasons that elude even me. Their earliest efforts involved porting over Final Fantasy I-V onto the iOS and Android platforms. Initially, the ports were serviceable, and at the least playable, but for the love of God I HATE playing an RPG on a touch screen. Perhaps on something like an iPad it may be more suitable, but while I was playing, I had only frustration. My needlessly interjected opinion aside, all seemed acceptable until they decided that the sixth entry should be ported over. What is often regarded as one of the best RPG's, and arguably one of the best games period, Final Fantasy VI (known also as Final Fantasy III on the SNES) is a loving piece of history, nostalgia, and fun for many people. It's graphics, music, story and gameplay are heralded as monuments to the genre. It's the definition of a masterpiece. Now, here it is in mobile form.

What we got was a glitch-ridden, graphically dumbed-down and washed-out, touch-screen infected heap that can't hold a candle to it's proper sprite-based counterpart. It makes me sick.
But Square Enix didn't just have this, oh no. May I regretfully present the ball-crunchingly outrageous, dry-heave inducing, piss boiling monstrosity that is Final Fantasy All the Bravest.

Okay. So what's the deal? Well, ATB essentially lives, breathes and shits microtransactions, and essentially requires them to even function as an entity. The actual premise sounds cool: you gather characters from across all the Final Fantasy games, 2D and 3D, and you do battle against the various enemies. So yeah, you can have Cecil, Squall, Terra, Zidane, Rosa, Cloud, and more doing battle against the biggest threats the series has ever seen! ....Is what I would like to say. Obtaining the characters requires, you guessed it, money money money. But that's not all: the selection is random. And then, when you finally do get into a "battle," you just swipe at the screen in no rhythmic manner whatsoever, and swipe, swipe, swipe some more, while your little currency-based character sprites hop around the screen making silly sounds and flashy lights. Same for the next battle, and the next, and the next, and the...oh, what? I need to pay MORE money to continue to swipe my finger across the screen? I might as well just throw my money into the ocean. In fact, the sight of such an event would be worth more than what this game purports to be. Man...I hate seeing this done to such a classic series. Frickin' hell. Square Enix...you need to stop man. Please. Stop This Nonsense.

And then finally, we have King, the company.

'The King who lives where none may dwell, in the festering swamps of putrid despair. O King, who hath brought such despicable titles from the ungrateful Candy Crush Saga, to the blatantly repugnant Papa Pear Saga. Thy King who stole from the humble, and sequestered the dissenters. O King who pillaged the lands of Facebook to make it His own, to which it became a barren wasteland of irrefutable plague and disease. O King whose most heinous crime came from within, as His greed spewed forth from his wretched desires, and sought to destroy and kill all who bore the name "Candy" or "Saga." Or maybe even "Crush," for His insatiable greed could not be ceased. The tale of The King is a woeful one indeed.'

EA is often regarded as a terrible company, but I find them more guilty of ignorance and stupidity rather than pure greed. But King, on the other hand, is just sheer evil greed. Having the gall to rip-off known franchises like Bejeweled and Peggle, and even the ideas of aspiring developers, is one thing, but to have the nerve to go after names, trademarks, and even individuals is some serious nonsense. You may or may not know, but earlier this year King went on a tirade of sorts as the company sought to trademark the words both "Candy" and "Saga." Think about that for a second. Candy. And Saga. You have got to be kidding me. Of course, this directly affected the development of original games by other studios, such as The Banner Saga, and even independent games like CandySwipe, which had released a full two years before King went on the hunt.

It shall be said that, for various instances, King retracted the trademark(s). But having said that, my opinion of King has not changed. The fact of the matter is that all of this did happen. Whose to say it might not happen again? They need to Stop This Nonsense.

If you play a King game, fine. If you enjoy a King game, that's fine too! I won't judge you. But think for a minute who you're supporting. And I respectfully ask that, if you're reading this, please just don't send me invites for any King game. I look at that the same way I look at spam. And, though not directly related, while you're at it, no more FarmVille invites either. Okay, how about NO FACEBOOK GAMES, period. I, Donlevy, humbly thank you.


Well, that was a rant. Although I do hope it was more than that; in fact, I hope you were at least a little educated or at the very least entertained, by my thoughts on the nonsense that is mobile and Facebook gaming. Please remember that I am a consumer, like you, and I want to know where my money is going, should I choose to spend it. Be mindful of what you buy. Be mindful of who you support. Be a smart consumer.

That's all.